Ok, so I'm sure there are several of you moms out there that have had this same problem. Perhaps you can give me some advice and end my torment. First- I should preface this with, I love Ava to death. She is my wonderful daughter. However, she is driving me CRAZY! I am at my wits end. She has recently started throwing tantrums several times a day. The worst time is at nap time. She has started screaming and banging things in her room. Not just regular screaming, but screaming like someone is beating her.
Now, Daniel thinks that maybe she's just done taking naps, but I don't agree. I know she's tired because she falls asleep on the couch or on my bed. But when she goes to her bed, she wigs out. BUT, she doesn't do any of this at bedtime. I can't figure it out. She has always been such a great sleeper too. Any thoughts or ideas?
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Aren't tantrums great? I'm not an expert but here's some ideas that will maybe help:
There's the book 1,2, 3 Magic. Basically if there's a behavior you don't want you say: "That's 1", and if they continue "That's 2", and if they still continue "Oh, that's 3, time for some bedroom time" (from 1,2,3 Magic). Then you give them a time out for however old they are (so if 2 then two minutes).
Nap times: Do you use the same routine that you use at bedtime? Maybe you could offer her a reward. Put her in her bed and say okay, Mommy will come back in (however many) minutes and if your still in bed trying to take a nap I'll give you... (a sticker, a tiny piece of candy, a drink).
Or you could put her in her bed (although this would be harder with a little baby) and stay right there by her and see if she falls asleep. Then the next day move a little farther away while she falls asleep. Then the next day a little farther away. Then work your way out into the hallway.
Or if she likes sleeping in your bed (if you're okay with that) be all excited like and tell her that she gets to take a nap in Mommy and Daddy's bed. But, she has to stay in bed, if she gets up then she has to go take a nap in her bed.
So yeah, I hope you find something that helps! I think it's something that most kids do at some point.
In my experience of have two 2 year olds I would say "it is the age!" My son was much worse then my daughter. I would always complain to my husband that things were so bad with him and that I didn't know what to do because "I have tried EVERYTHING". He would always respond with "yes, you have tried everything but you have only tried it for a week." My advice to you is find something that works like timeouts and stick with it for several months. Get on the same page with your husband and have him do some of the time outs too. Once I was consistent with my time out with him and he knew I was going to be serious EVERY single time, the tantrums seemed to stop. About 6 months later we had to move the time out spot to a different corner because he was having too much fun at the other corner (putting himself in time out) but after finding a new corner we were like gold again. Good luck with that. It really is a never ending story. Also, she could be acting up because the baby. It seemed like when I brought baby number 2 home and again with baby number 3, my kids started "fighting for time" with me so it made things interesting. I tried really hard to spend extra time with the ones that were having the most tantrums. It will all work out. Also, about naps...I would never stop them! You need that time. If she doesn't want a nap she should at least take a "quiet time". My kids read books for about an hour. I call it "my time out!"
If you find the one thing that works, share with all. I think we are all hoping for a miracle or something with all our kids!
So we just went through about three weeks of horrendousness with my Tad who is about to turn two this week. I've always been the type to put it all on consistency, but felt so frustrated because it had been weeks of being consistent and he wasn't pulling out of it. (The thing is, though, even the couple times that I gave in for experimentation sake, it didn't even make him happy, he didn't know what he wanted, he just wanted to be a stinker.) It was horrendous. Really, it didn't matter what I did or didn't do, he was going to scream, (I can so relate, not just cry, scream from his toenails). One day this week, magically enough, I looked at him and realized that he had had a way better day and come to think of it, yesterday wasn't bad either. It was like I finally had my little boy back. Don't get me wrong, he still threw fits, but at least they were isolated events and not days of continuous fit throwing. And honestly, I didn't do anything different, I stuck with the routines we had and if he had to scream, he had to scream. It was just some kind of phase. If you can tell she's still tired, then don't drop naps. Once you do it's hard to go back. Chances are, you'll have a really rough couple of weeks, and then things will mellow out. If nothing else, know that you're not alone, and try to stay sane. This too shall pass... :)
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